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^53 



THE PROUD MISS MAOBRIDE. 



A LEGEjYD of GOTHAM. 



JOHN G. SAXE. 



WITH ILLUSTRATIONS BY AUGUSTUS HOPPIK. 




BOSTON: 
JAMES R. OSGOOD AND COMPANY, 

*y Lkte Ticknor & Fields, and Fields, Osgood, & Co. 

V* ■ 1874. 







Entered according to Act of Congress, in the year 1873, 

BY JAMES U. OSGOOD & CO., 

in the OlBce of the Librarian of Congress, at Washington. 



University Press : Welch, Bigelow, & Co., 
Cambridcb. 







LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS. 

From Duawings by Augustus Hoppin. 

The full-page Illustrations have been produced by the Patent Heliotype Process ; 
the Vignettes are engraved on wood. 

Stanza 

I. " TERRIBLY PKOUD WAS MiSS MacBRIDE " {full 

page) ....... Frontispiece 

IX. " Merely a fancy creation " . . . Page 14 

XI. "She sang vxtil she was hoarse" . . .15 

XII. "Her bikth, indeed, was vncommonly high" 10 

XIV. "No modern Harvey will ever succeed" . 18 

XV. "Your family thread you can't ascend" . 19 

XVI. "Rich was the old paternal JIacBride " . 20 

XVII. "Honest John" (full page) .... 21 

XVI II. "He rose from nis ashes" . . . .22 

XX. " A thriving tailor begged her hand " (full page) 23 

XXI. "Another, whose sign was a golden boot" (full 

Pcge) 21 

XXIII. "A rich tobacconist comes and sues" (full page) 25 
XXIII. " Up to snuff " 26 



^544 



LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS. 



XXIV. "A YOUNG ATTORNEY OF 'WINNING GRACE" {full 

j)age) ........ 26 

XXVI. "A COURTLY FELLOW WAS D APPER Z\yi"{full 

page) 27 

XXVIII. "Quite graciously relented" {fuU page) . 29 

XXVIII. "To be a bride without the Mac" ." . 29 

XXXII. " She tried 

IIer jaded spirits to rally " . . .32 

XXXVII. "Her elegant, ardent, plighted lover 

"Was the very first to forsake her" 36 

XXXVIII. " And now the unhappy Miss MacBuide 

Bewails her lonely iosition" . .37 



THE PROUD MISS MACBRIDE. 



HONEST JOHN." 




THE PROUD MISS MACBRIDE. 



A LEGEND OF GOTHAM. 



oi^c 




TERRIBLY proud was Miss MacBride, 
The very personification of Pride, 
As she minced along in Fashion's tide, 
Adown Broadway, — on the proper side, — 
When the golden sun was setting ; 



THE PROUD MISS MACBRIDE. g 

There was pride in the head she carried so high, 
Pride in her hp, and pride in her eye,. - 
And a world of pride in the very sigh 

That her stately bosom was fretting ; 



II. 



A sigh that a pair of elegant feet, 
Sandalled in satin, should kiss the street,- 
The very same that the vulgar greet 
In common leather not over " neat," — 
For such is the common hooting ; 
(And Christian tears may well be shed, 
That even among our gentlemen bred. 
The glorious day of Morocco is dead. 



THE PROUD MISS MACBRIDE. 

And Day and Martin are raining instead, 
On a much inferior footing!) 



IIL 



0, terribly proud was -Miss MacBride, 

Proud of her beauty, and proud of her pride, 

And proud of fifty matters beside 

That woukl n't have borne dissection ; 
Proud of her wit, and proud of her 'walk, 
Proud of her teeth, and proud of her talk. 
Proud of " knowing cheese from chalk," 

On a very slight inspection ! 



THE PROUD MISS MACBFJDE. 10 



IV. 



Proud abroad, and proud at home, 

Proud wherever she chanced to come, 

When she was glad, and when she was ghnn ; 

Proud as the head of a Saracen 
Over the door of a tipphng shop ! — 
Proud as a duchess, proud as a fop, 
" Proud as a boy with a bran-new top," 

Proud beyond comparison ! 



V. 



It seems a singular thing to say, 
But her very senses led her astray 



•A THRIVING TAILOR BEGGED HER HAND." 



4 



THE PROUD MISS MAC BRIDE. H 

Respecting all humility; 
In sooth, her dull auricular drum 
Could find in Humble only a " hum," 
And heard no sound of '' gentle " come, 

In talking about gentility. 



VI. 



What Lowly meant she did n't know. 
For she always avoided " everything low," 

With care the most punctilious. 
And queerer still, the audible sound 
Of "super-silly" she never had found 

In the adjective supercilious ! 



THE PROUD MISS MAC BR IDE. 12 

VIL 

The meaning of Meek she never knew, 
But imagined the phrase had something to do 
With " Moses," — a peddling German Jew, 
Who, hke all hawkers the country through. 

Was a person of no i)Osition ; 
And it seemed to her exceedingly })lain, 
If the word was really known to i)ertain 
To a vulgar German, it was n't germane 

To a lady of high condition ! 



VIII. 

Even her graces, — not her grace, 
For that was in the "vocative case," 



THE PROUD MISS MACBRIDE. .13 

Cliilled with the touch of her icy face, 

Sat very stiffly upon lier ; 
She never confessed a favor aloud, 
Like one of the simple, common crowd, 
But coldly smiled, and faintly bowed. 
As who should say : " You do me proud, 

And do yourself an honor ! " 



IX. 



And yet the pride of Miss MacBride, 
Although it had fifty hobbies to ride, 

Had really no foundation; 
But, like the fabrics that gossips devise, 
Those single stories that often arise 



THE PROUD MISS MACBRIDE. 



14 



And grow till they reach a four-story size, — 
Was merely a fancy creation ! 




'T is a curious fact as ever was known 
In human nature, but often shown 
Alike in castle -and cottage, 



"ANOTHER, WHOSE SIGN WAS A GOLDEN BOOT. 



THE PROUD MISS MACBRIDE. 



15 



That pride, like pigs of a certain breed, 
Will manage to live and thrive on " feed " 
As poor as a pauper's pottage ! 



XL 



That her wit should never have made her vain, 
Was, like her face, sufficiently plain ; 
And as to her musical powers, 
Although she sang until she was hoarse, 




THE PROUD MISS MACBRIDE. 



16 



And issued notes "with a Banker's force, 
They were just such notes as we never indorse 
For any acquaintance of ours ! 



XII. 

Pier birth, indeed, was uncommonly high, 
For Miss MacBride first opened her eye 
Through a skylight dim, on the light of the sky ; 




THE PROUD MISS MACBRIDE. 17 

But pride is a curious passion, 
And ill talking about licr wealth and worth 
She always forgot to mention lier birtli, 

To people of rank and fashion! 



XIIL 

Of all the notable things. on earth, 
The queerest one is pride of birth, 

Among our "fierce Democracie"! 
A bridge across a hundred years, 
Without a prop to save it from sneers, — 
Not even a couple of rotten Peers, — 
A thing for laughter, fleers, and jeers. 

Is American aristocracy ! 



THE PROUD MISS MACBllIDE. 



18 



XIV. 

English and Irisli, French and Spanish, 
German, Itahan, Dutch, and Danish, 
Crossing their veins nntil they vanish 
In one conulomcration ! 




So subtle a tangle of Blood, indeed, 
No modern Harvey will ever succeed 
In findino- the circulation ! 



"A RICH TOBACCONIST COMES AM) SUES." 



THE PROUD MISS MACBRIDE. 



19 



XV. 

Depend upon it, my snobbish friend, 
Your family thread you can't ascend. 
Without good reason to apprehend 
You may find it waxed at the farther end 
By some plebeian vocation ; 




Or, worse than that, your boasted 'Line' 
May end in a loop of stronger twine, 

That plagued some worthy relation ! 



THE PROUD MISS MACBRIDE. 



20 



XVI. 

But Miss MacBride hath something beside 
Her lofty birtli to nourish her pride, — 
For rich was the old paternal MacBride, 
According to public rumor ; 




And he lived " Up Town," in a splendid square, 
And kept his daughter on dainty fare, 
And gave her gems that were rich and rare. 
And the finest rings and things to wear, 
And feathers enough to plume her! 



THE PROUD MISS MAC BRIDE. 21 

XVII. 

All honest mechanic was John MacBride, 
As ever an honest calHng plied, 

Or graced an honest ditty ; 
For John liad worked in his early day, 
In " Pots and Pearls," tlie legends say. 
And ke[)t a shop with a rich array 
Of things in the soap and candle way, 

In the lower part of the city. 



XVIII. 



No rara avis was honest John, 
(That 's the Latin for " sable swan,") 



THE PROUD MISS MAC BRIDE. 



22 




Though, in one of his fancy flashes, 
A wicked wag, who meant to deride, 
Called honest John, "Old Phoenix MacBride," 
" Because he rose from his ashes ! '* 



XIX. 



Alack! for many ambitious beaux! 
She hung their hopes upon her nose, 



•A YOUNG ATTORNEY OF WINNING GRACE/ 



THE PROUD MISS MACBRIDE. 23 

(The figure is quite Horatian !)* 
Until from habit the member grew 
As queer a thing as ever you knew 

Turn up to observation ! 



XX. 



A thriving tailor begged her hand, 

But she gave " the fellow " to understand. 

By a violent manual action. 
She perfectly scorned the best of his clan, 
And reckoned the ninth of any man 

An exceedingly Vulgar Fraction ! 

* "Omnia suspendens naso." 



TEE PROUD MISS MACBRIDE. 24 



XXI. 

Another, whose sign was a golden boot, 
Was mortified with a bootless suit, 

In a way that was quite appalling ; 
For though a regular suior l)y trade, 
He was n't a suitor to suit the maid, 
Who cut him off with a saw, — and bade 

" Tlie cobbler keep to his calling." 



XXII. 



(The Muse must let a secret out, — 
There is n't the faintest shadow of doubt. 
That folks who oftenest sneer and flout 



THE PROUD MISS MACBRIDE. 



25 



At " tlie dirty, low mechanicals," 
Are they wliose sires, by pounding their knees, 
Or coiling their legs, or trades like these. 
Contrived to win their children case 

From poverty's galling manacles.) 



XXIII. 



A rich tobacconist conies and sues, 
And, thinking the lady would scarce refuse 
A man of his wealth and liberal views. 
Began, at once, with, "If you choose, — 
And could you really love him — " 
But the lady spoiled his speech in a huff. 



TEE PROUD MISS MACBRIDE. 26 

With an answer rough and ready enough, 
To let Mm know slic was up to snuff, 
And altogether above him! 




XXIV. 

A young attorney of winning grace, 
Was scarcely allowed to " open his face," 
Ere Miss IMacBridc had closed his case 

With true judicial celerity ; 
For the lawyer Avas poor, and " seedy " to hoot, 
And to say the lady discarded his suit, 

Is merely a double verity. 



'A COURTLY FELLOW WAS DAPPER JHI/ 



THE PROUD MISS MACBRIDE. 27 

XXV. 

The last of those who came to court 
Was a Uvely beau of the dapper sort, 
"Without any visible means of support," — 

A crime by no means flagrant 
In one who wears an elegant coat, 
But the very point on which they vote 

A ragged fellow " a vagrant." 



XXVI. 

A courtly fellow was Dapper Jim, 
Sleek and supple, and tall and trim. 
And smooth of tongaie as neat of limb : 
And, maugre his meagre pocket, 



THE PROUD MISS MACBRIDE. 28 

You 'd say, from the glittering tales he told, 
That Jim had slept in a cradle of gold, 
With Fortunatus to rock it! 



XXVII. 

Now Dapper Jim his courtship plied 

(I wish the fact could be denied), 

With an eye to the purse of the old MacBride, 

And really " nothing shorter " ! 
For he said to himself, in his greedy lust, 
"Whenever he dies, — as die he must, — 
And yields to Heaven his vital trust, 
He 's very sure to ' come down with his dust,' 

In behalf of his only daughter." 



THE PROUD MISS MAC BRIDE. 



H'J 



XXVIII. 



And the very magnificent Miss MacBride, 
Half in love and half in pride, 
Quite graciously relented ; 








^m 



And tossing her head, and turning her hack. 



THE PROUD MISS MACBRIDE. 30 

No token of proper pride to lack, 
To be a Bride without the " Mac," 

With much disdain, consented. 



XXIX. 

Alas ! that people who 've got their box 
Of cash beneath the best of locks, 
Secure from all financial shocks. 
Should stock their fancy with fancy stocks. 
And madly rush upon Wall Street rocks, 

Without the least apology; 
Alas! that people whose money affairs 
Are sound beyond all need of repairs, 
Should ever tempt the bulls and bears 

Of Mammon's fierce Zoology! 



'QUITE GRACIOUSLY RELENTED." 



THE FllOUD MISS MACBRIDE. 31 

XXX. 

Old John MacBride, one fatal day, 
Became the unresisting prey 

Of Fortune's undertakers; 
And staking his all on a single die, 
His foundered bark went high and dry 

Among the brokers and breakers! 



XXXI. 

At his trade again in the very shop 
Where, years before, he let it drop, 

He follows his ancient calling,- 
Cheerily, too, in poverty's spite, 



THE PROUD MISS MACBRIDE. 

And sleeping quite as sound at night, 
As when, at Fortune's giddy height, 
He used to wake with a dizzy fright 
From a dismal dream of falhnu'. 



XXXII. 

But alas for the haughty Miss MacBride! 
'T was such a shock to her precious pride, 
She could n't recover, although she tried 
Her jaded spirits to rally ; 




THE PROUD MISS MACBRIDE. ' 33 

'T was a dreadful change in human affairs 
From a Place " Up Town " to a nook " Up Stairs," 
From an Avenue down to an Alley ! 



XXXIII. 

'T was little condolence she had, God wot, 
From her " troops of friends," who had n't forgot 

The airs she used to borrow ; 
They had civil phrases enough, but yet 
'T was plain to see that their " deepest regret " 

Was a different thing from Sorrow ! 



THE PROUD MISS MACBllIDE. 34 

XXXIV. 

They owned it could n't have well been worse, 

To go from a full to an empty purse ; 

To expect a reversion and get a " reverse," 

Was truly a dismal feature ; 
But it was n't strange, — they whispered, — at all ; 
That the Summer of pride should have its Fall, 

"Was quite according to Nature ! 



XXXV. 

And one of those cha})s who make a pun,- 
As if it were quite legitimate fun 
To be blazing away at every one, 
With a regular double-loaded gun, — 



THE PROUD MISS MACBRILE. 35 

Remarked that moral transgression 
Always brings retributive stings 
To candle-makers, as well as kings : 
And making light of cereous things, 

Was a very wick-ed profession ! 



XXXVI. 

And vulgar people, the saucy churls, 
Inquired about " the price of Pearls," 

And mocked at her situation ; 
" She was n't ruined, — they ventured to hope, 
Because she was poor, she need n't mope, — 
Few people were better off for soap. 

And that was a consolation ! " 



The proud miss macbhide. 



36 



XXXVII. 

And to make her cup of avoc run over, 
Her elegant, ardent, plighted lover 

Was the very first to forsake her ; 




He quite regretted the step, 't was true,- 
The lady had pride enough " for two," 
But that alone would never do 

To quiet the butcher and baker I 



THE PROUD MISS MACBEIDE. 

XXXVIII. 

And now the unhappy Miss MacBride, 
The merest ghost of her early pride, 
Bewails her lonely position ; 




Cramped in the very narrowest niche, 
Al)ove the poor, and below the rich. 
Was ever a worse condition ? 



THE PROUD MISS MAGBRIDE. 38 

MORAL. 

Because yon flourish in worldly affairs, 
Don't Ijc Imuiihty, .and put on airs. 

With insolent pride of station ! ■■ 
Don't be proud, and turn u[) your nose 
At poorer people in plainer clo'es, 
But learn, for the sake of your soul's rei)ose, 
That wealtli 's a bubble, that comes, — and uoes I 
And that all Proud Flesh, wherever it grows, 

Is suliject to irritation ! 




Cambridge : Electrotyped and Printed by Welch, Bigelow, & Co. 



